momtothefey

Overcoming Resentment

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:15:06 GMT

The following is an excerpt from this article. Thanks go to my monkey, memphispagan , for sharing this with me.

Steps in overcoming resentment

Step 1: To overcome any resentment I have against a person or people in my life I first need to identify who they are and what they did to make me resentful. I need to answer the following questions in my journal:

A. Toward whom in my past or present do I hold any level of resentment?
B. What did each of these people do to hurt, offend or victimize me?
C. How real or imagined are these offenses?
D. What has the specific resentment against each of these people done to my attitude about me and my future?
E. How paralyzed am I in my efforts toward personal growth by the resentment I carry toward each of these people?

Step 2: Once I've identified each person I have resentment against and the extent to which this resentment has affected me, I need to develop a new way of looking at my past, present and future life. To do this I need to answer the following questions in my journal:

A. What irrational thinking am I locked into because of my resentment?
B. How will ridding myself of resentment help me to develop a positive belief system in my life?
C. How can I loosen the bonds and open myself in anger work-outs over those I resent?
D. What blocks my attempts to express my anger openly?
E. How hard am I working at overcoming my blocks to anger?
F. What new behavior do I need to develop to freely express my anger and rid myself of energy-draining resentment?
G. What new rational thinking do I need to develop to overcome the negative impact of my resentment?
H. How will my life be positively impacted by getting rid of my resentment?
I. What new behavior do I need to develop to ensure that new resentment doesn't arise?
J. What new attitudes and approaches do I need to develop after ridding myself of resentment?

Step 3: Now that I've considered a change in attitude and belief system, I need to:

A. Write in my journal a letter (I will never mail these letters so I can be as brutally honest and straight forward in them) to each person I resent. In it list all real or imagined offenses.
B. Explain for myself why each person treated me badly. Was it real or imagined?
C. Forgive each person, let go and forget the offenses.

Step 4: Once I've let go of all of my resentment through forgiving and forgetting, I need to visualize my life, present and future, without the negative impact of resentment. I need to log this vision in my journal and affirm its reality daily.

Step 5: If I am still bogged down by the negative effects of resentment, then I need to go back to Step 1 and begin again.

Weekend Wins

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:33:41 GMT

This weekend (as a brief review) I:

Finished 5 bags and 4 pouches. Or 6 bags and 5 pouches. Now I can't remember. Darnit!
Discovered that I do still have the ability to listen.
Clarified a previous discussion where I had used their words to explain my feelings and it had stuck... until now at least.
Remembered that despite her demonic tendencies, I really do have an adorable child.
Enjoyed peeking in the windows, so to speak, of a new friend's brain.
Watched the first two episodes of LOST and discovered I actually like the show.
Cleaned the kitchen and did laundry.

After the stressful week I had last week, I needed a good weekend. Now if only I could get some sunshine.

Pondering Pluto

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:31:38 GMT

If Pluto is no longer a planet, does it still rule Scorpio?

This randomness was brought to you by the letter P and the number 4.

Drool

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:51:28 GMT

I want a set of these! The potential is infinite!

Being crafty

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 15:57:41 GMT

I designed a new bag last night and am in the process of designing the pouch that goes with it. I am really enjoying making things for the purpose of selling them. It gives me a goal and motivation. :)

Neglected LJ

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:55:09 GMT

I've been terrible at posting lately! I keep saying, "I'm gonna post about this tomorrow, or on Monday, or (insert time-frame here)." And of course I get distracted or busy, or I find myself in a funky mood for one reason or another. Thus, nothing gets posted.

So, a quick review:

I'm alive!
I am full of love!
I am making and strengthening bonds.
I am being a mother, a wife, and a friend while still being and living for myself!
I'm learning to be more independent!
Being more independent helps me appreciate those in my life more!
I am opening doors when opportunity knocks!
I am exploring my creativity.
I am working on issues regarding anger towards myself.
I am admitting that I need help working through some of my issues and seeking that help.

In short, life is good!

To my fellow Empaths

Thu, 07 May 2009 17:55:25 GMT

Check out this website: Dreamtoungue. The lessons have a bit of ramble to them, but there is very good information there. The Yahoo group has the other sections from Book of Storms available, and he's in the process of uploading them to his other site.

I've read through the introduction and the first lesson. It has potential.

What do you think?

For those of you who've been waiting...

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:34:27 GMT

...I've finished Palimpsest. I'm not ready to write a review or thoughts yet, but you can bring on the barrage of questions/comments/statements/suggestions that you held onto until I was finished.

What's Your Personality Type?

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 18:07:28 GMT

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!

In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart.
You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. You break a lot of hearts.

At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do.
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding

When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

What's Your Personality Type?

My little girl is growing up!

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:45:29 GMT

This morning, Tree Faerie and I arrived at daycare just as her class was heading down to the end bay where they play when it's too cold or wet outside. She kicked her little legs suggesting she wanted down. So I asked her, "Do you want to go with your friends?"

"Yes," she said, so I put her down and off she went. I signed her in on the teacher's clip board and then headed to her classroom to drop off her bag. Her class was still being herded out the door when I came back. She was ready to go play and didn't even look around for me. Some of her classmates waved and yelled bye to me, but Tree Faerie was focused on getting down to the end bay to play with her friends! No "bye, mom" or "I love you" or anything!

Part of me, in fact a large part of me, is so excited that she now wants to go play with her friends when we get to daycare and rarely throws a fit anymore. The other small part of me, however, mourns the time when she clung to me, begging me not to leave her there.

On the plus side, I do get lots and lots of kisses and hugs at other times. Last night she was even kissing me through the window while I was outside. And she tells me she loves me all the time. Screams it at the top of her lungs more often than not. :)

I love being a mom.

Fickle February

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 15:36:52 GMT

It occurred to me this week that part of the reason February is such a difficult month for me is because February teases a person with Spring, and then immediately tortures them with Winter just as the person starts to thaw.

And to prove my point, it was 70 on Thursday, 60 yesterday, and today we have a Winter Storm Warning in effect from noon today until tomorrow morning. Not a watch... a WARNING. With 2-4 inches of accumulation expected. The temperature is currently 37 degrees and dropping, which combined with the constant precipitation makes it possible to have 60 degree weather yesterday and get ice accumulation today.

Bravo, February. This is an impressive final stand.

Feeling Blessed

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:52:39 GMT

I always find it quite intriguing when I'm feeling down or uncomfortable about something and the Gods find a way to show me that it will all be okay in the end, no matter how tough or easy the current trial may be.

I truly feel blessed. :) Thank you.

Now if I could just manage to retain this knowledge when I'm working through something...

SPAZZING!

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 17:53:12 GMT

So far today I've been totally spastic in a fun sort of way. It's like I'm constantly teetering right on the edge of giddiness. It could be the sunshine or the 70 degree weather. It could be that everything in my head seems to be coming together and sorting itself out in a nice way. It could be that I'm actually beginning to FEEL THE LOVE!

Whatever this is, I hope it lasts! I'm so tired of being depressed!

(Mentioning that... I guess this could be defined as a Manic episode. I refuse to allow a pattern to emerge.)

Lots of love to all of you out there who are too far away or too busy for me to actually wrap my arms around!

For my Fiber Fanatic Friends

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 05:46:06 GMT

(meaning knit & crochet type of fiber)

Lab Rat Knitting Pattern

I would have never even imagined this! Not that it could be done, but that it would be done!

The geek in me thinks it's really cool, though...

Someone called me skinny...

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 21:03:14 GMT

10 years ago, when someone called me skinny, I felt guilty for the way I looked. I didn't have to work for it. I could eat anything and never see my weight fluctuate. I watched friends, family, and complete strangers try out one diet or another, many without results.

In the following 6 years, I put on an additional 50 pounds. I decided enough was enough, and we wanted to get pregnant, so I started the Slim Fast plan. A month later I'd lost a few pounds, but the following month I found them again - I was pregnant.

During the pregnancy, I gained an additional 40 pounds. Granted, a lot of it was water, but even after the initial water-weight loss, I was still 10 lbs heavier than before I got pregnant. The additional 60 lbs I was carrying around certainly did not feel good, nor did I think it looked good. I tried to watch what I ate, but I still only lost about 10 lbs more.

Last spring, I put myself back on the Slim Fast Plan and started exercising more consistently. After about a month, I quit using the Slim Fast shakes but continued to eat well, limiting my intake of HFCS and empty calories. Slowly, the weight melted off. I have lost 40 pounds since last spring.

Today, someone called me skinny, and I took pride in it. I am not "skinny" as in "you need to eat a few cheeseburgers," but I am several sizes smaller than I was this time last year. It makes me feel good when people notice, especially since I've actually had to work to get the weight off!

I feel I have EARNED the right to take pride in my body.

Wit Found

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:08:58 GMT

So, I was sitting in my chair on the back patio smoking a cigarette and reading the second book in the Dragonlance series when memphispagan comes out to join me. Since I was in a thrilling part of the book and near the end of a chapter, I finished the chapter before looking up at him. I fixed him with a dazzling smile, preparing to comment on how awesome the book was and how grateful I am that he got me hooked on them.

Before I could say anything, he says, "Why don't you stand up and turn around... so I can kick you in the butt?"

Eyebrows raised, I asked, "Why do you want to kick me in the butt?"

"I just thought it would be fun!" he replies.

"Yeah, you thought skateboarding would be fun, too," I said, gesturing to his face. "You might want to rethink that."

(He really tried not to laugh, but failed miserably.)

2 plus 2 equals...

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 19:06:42 GMT

This year has begun beautifully! I feel very... collected. My thoughts seem to be flowing well and have been since the mental and emotional purging I did bright and early Jan. 1st.

2 plus 2 now equals 4 instead of 3 or 187. This is nice.

Of course, I haven't been concentrating on anything major. My thoughts have been centered around music - specifically karaoke and Guitar Hero World Tour.

Now some of you may argue that GHWT is not actually music, but I disagree. I've learned a lot about my musical tastes and desires from playing this game! I now understand why I love singing harmonies and playing trombone and bass. I now understand why I don't play my guitar alone very often, but if memphispagan pulls his guitar out, I'm right there with him, itching to play. I don't like playing alone! (Hmmm... that could also be applied to my sexual preferences!) I CAN play alone, but I enjoy being a part of something bigger. I loved being in the marching, jazz, and concert bands in high school. I've always enjoyed being a part of a choir or singing group. I loved being part of the background, the part that makes the music whole but doesn't necessarily have the spotlight.

And here's where we get into karaoke. Let me give you a little background...

I've always loved to sing. When I first joined the school choir in junior high, I was always either first or second chair, even when the choir director had me move from 1st soprano to alto because she needed a strong voice in alto. However, when it came to solos, I always froze up. My voice would not work properly, even in class. When my voice combined with everyone else's, I was great, but when it was just me, alone, uh-uh.

Later, I could sing solos well, but only when I didn't have to sing with a microphone. Thankfully I could project well enough to reach the back of our school's tiny theater. I didn't give up trying, but I was never happy with my performance when I sang with a microphone.

After memphispagan and I got together, we decided I had a fear of the microphone. We began to work on breaking through that fear, but since it wasn't put through the test often, we didn't make much headway. Last year, a conversation with omnisti led me to realize what was truly holding me back. I didn't like hearing my own voice come back to me!

In May, I was quite blessed when ivorywitch brought her daughter over to visit. The relationship has deepened into a beautiful and comfortable friendship. An added bonus is that she and her SO work at a karaoke bar! It took a while to work up the courage to go try it out, and I was so nervous the first time. I sang 4 songs that first night, and my nervousness eased with each song. I've been back several times since then, along with singing at other places, and I'm beginning to find my own style and personality with it.

Saturday night thegreenyear and I went to sing karaoke. I had a blast! I was on-stage for 11 songs total, some alone, a couple of actual duets, and a couple of songs sang as a group. I really didn't want it to end, but of course the bar had to close. I'm going to try to work in going at least once a month. I prefer going to the SP&B not only because I have fabulous friends working there but because the show is more of a show than a disaster (which other places have been closer to disaster).

So, all in all, it's been a wonderful year so far! I refuse to allow this year to be anything other than wonderful!

2008 was...

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 17:56:57 GMT

...interesting.

I learned a lot about myself. I made new friends and rekindled friendships with old friends. I laughed, loved, cried, screamed, sighed, giggled, danced, sang, hula-hooped, and most of all, I began to accept myself as being human.

To those of you who enriched my life over the past year (and that would be ALL of you!), thank you for choosing to share part of your life with me so that I may share part of my life with you.

I am truly blessed...

Now an Expert

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 18:18:31 GMT

I have a new addiction... Guitar Hero World Tour! Specifically, I LOVE playing bass! Once I actually thought about it, this fact did not surprise me since I played the trombone for years and loved it so much more than I ever liked playing clarinet, my first instrument. I like adding dimension to music, which is also why I love singing harmony.

Last night, memphispagan,thegreenyear, and i were playing in career mode and unlocked the song Float On. Well, I'd been playing the entire gig on Easy because the night before last we'd played a couple of songs that were a little intense to play on Medium on the first read-through. I played Float On on Easy, and it was definitely easy. Super easy. Easy enough to bore me.

After thegreenyear had to go home, memphispagan and I continued to play GH for a little longer. I pulled up this song to play on Medium. It was STILL super easy! So, I tried Hard. It was a little more complicated, but only because I was now using my pinky finger to play two buttons. I still made over 90%. There was no question about it, I HAD to give Expert level a try.

While Expert level was a bit more complicated due to variations in phrases I'd come to expect, it was still very easy! I made 89% on the song, which I am certainly not ashamed of for my first play-through on that level!

So, I've now played my first song on Expert. :)

Inspiration

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 19:27:51 GMT

When one of the most wonderful women in the world said, "Our lives would be so much easier if they just went ahead and said, 'I'm about to do something stupid... please smack me?'"... I almost fell out of my chair laughing! I still have tears in my eyes!

For my next trick...

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 18:20:06 GMT

I wonder if I'd need a license to carry these?

Edited to add this to carry them in! :)

Oh, and for my favorite Hello Kitty friend, do you think you need one of these?

Right Here Waiting for You

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 13:19:21 GMT

This is the song I awoke to this morning. It hit home more than ever before.

Right Here Waiting for You - Richard Marx

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I cant get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
Ill take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

Waiting for you...

I love you more than I ever thought possible and more than words could ever express...

Unbelievable!

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 21:51:38 GMT

This pisses me off!

Seriously, this is creepy...

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:08:08 GMT

Andrea's Dewey Decimal Section:

995 Melanesia; New Guinea

Andrea = 144851 = 144+851 = 995

Class:
900 History & Geography

Contains:
Travel, biographies, ancient history, and histories of continents.

What it says about you:
You're connected to your past and value the things that have happened to you. You've had some conflicted times in your life, but they've brought you to where you are today and you don't ignore it.

Find your Dewey Decimal Section at Spacefem.com

Words of Wisdom

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 22:41:12 GMT

From Celebrate Love:

It is important to allow your love partner the freedom to fulfill your needs in their own best way.

What you can be with in life lets you be!

When you know what you need from your relationship and can express those needs to your partner and be okay with allowing them to love you the way they can love you, you will see a shift in your relationship that goes far beyond what you ever could have imagined!

These are words I need to read daily.